A World Not Unlike Our Own - Chapter 5

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Drexel had been pondering for hours, maybe even minutes, about what the next phase of the revolution would be. He was at a complete loss for ideas. He watched cat videos and dog videos but nothing came to him. He watched Internet videos about people falling, people crashing, people singing poorly, people getting set on fire, people breaking things on purpose, people breaking things on accident, and people just laughing for unknown reasons. Despite his hard work, Drexel's research was getting him nowhere. Defeated and dejected, Drexel decided to distribute the strategy designing task and directed Mika to do it.
Being a student, Mika was much better at research. Within a very short amount of time she had pulled up a list of all planetary legislators. She found that almost half of all legislators were female. Surprisingly enough, despite some odd blue laws, Coita 4 was a generally progressive planet when it came to gender equality. Who knew?
Mika went down the list and discovered that of all the politicians that they had blackmailed only a couple were female. It turns out that females are just not into the orgy scene as much as men. It's understandable. I mean, a lot of women don't like to do things like give blow jobs. And if a guy brings his dick over while she's getting plowed on the couch, what's she going to say? “Oh, I'm sorry, I don't like giving blow jobs. Please bring your penis to someone else.”
Mika thought for a while over this information and did a little bit more research. Eventually, after a lot of pondering, Mika formulated a very well thought out plan. It was legal, efficient and it would probably work completely perfectly. It was a dream. She rushed off to find Drexel, excited by the prospect of finally completing the revolution's goals.
Drexel was very happy to see Mika. A little too happy. After changing his pants, Drexel asked Mika to explain her plan.
“Well, I did some research and I found that almost half of the planetary legislative body are female. This is understandable because women don't tend to be as active in the orgy scene.”
“Ah,” said Drexel, “the blow job thing.”
“Yeah. So what we have is more than half of the male population of the legislative body however we have untapped females. So...”
“I see! So we need to find a way to get them to come have sex with us too!” Drexel exclaimed.
“Well actually, I was thinking...”
“Don't worry,” Drexel cut her off, “I'll take it from here.”

Drexel thought for a while and eventually realized what he needed to do to get the female legislators to come to the orgies and join them. Orgy season was technically over but Drexel had to take a gamble and throw one more. He knew everyone would still show up to one more. They all hated to see orgy season end and most would do anything to make sure they hit this last one because no one knew when they'd be able to get away to another one.
Drexel got it set up just like before except this time he bought some new supplies. He knew that with the equipment they had, no woman would be able to resist his orgy. They'd be clamoring to get in. Drexel got it out on the street and made a couple fliers that he distributed to a couple trustworthy orgy promoters. The flier said this: “Did you miss the last orgy of the season? Well, now you have a second chance. Whether you made it or not, all are welcome. And because we are sensitive to needs of the ladies out there, we have made sure that our orgy would suit their needs.” In the corner, a big yellow circle with black lettering said “VIBRATORS! DOUBLE-SIDED DILDOS! HAIR ELASTICS! KNEE SOCKS! BREAST PUMPS! Don't worry ladies, we've got you covered.”

On the night of the orgy, Drexel got out the cameras and got ready to see the ladies pour in. At first, it was just the normal crowd. Mostly males. But, oh what happened as the night went on! Still the same. Mostly men. BUT! As the night went on even more, what did Drexel find? Nothing. It was the same old crowd. The big orgy came and went and not a single new politician, male or female, was gained. Drexel's plan failed miserably for the first time.
But Drexel wasn't ready to give up yet. Back to the drawing boards. They still had a lot of legislators under their control and they still had a lot of members with which to operate. Drexel paced back and forth.
“Fuck. I've got to think. Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“Hey, I never finished telling you my plan,” Mika said as she approached the visibly distraught Drexel.
“Go on.”
“Well, we have a lot of male legislators because of the orgies but females just don't want to come to these things so we need to...”
“YES! You're a genius. We just get the males to seduce the females into affairs with them! I could kiss you right n..”
Drexel's face contorted. He recomposed himself and went to contact the controlled legislators immediately.
They were not crazy about the idea. This wasn't something they were used to doing. Sure, they had all seduced countless interns and subordinates. But equals? That would be no easy task. Having power was better than fucking someone with power. If you don't have power, I guess that's all you can hope for. But if you already have power you have no motivation to hook up with another person of equal power unless they had some great body, excellent personality or noble cause like saving kittens or some other cute animals.
These politicians did not have great bodies. They also did not have great personalities. Actually, they were really just not the smartest people you'd ever meet. They were orgy guys. They decided it was worth the risk to go to a huge public orgy instead of just getting a couple hookers and keeping their insatiable thirst for sex a secret. Obviously these guys were not the greatest minds of the planet.
Actually, they did have one thing going for them. They had a somewhat noble cause. They were fighting to end the segregation of the species of Coita 4. Well, they were being forced to fight for a noble cause, anyway. That's not the point. They had a cause they had to fight for and it was noble and chicks would probably fuck them just to keep them happy and fighting for such a great cause. Without a doubt.
Unfortunately, none of the politicians realized they had a great cause that would aid them in their conquest of their colleagues' nether regions. Drexel didn't realize either. Mika realized but no one really listened to her.
The politicians went in to work and over a few weeks tried to work their magic to no avail. Some even hit the gym a couple times but certainly not enough for a visible change. They tried to impress the ladies with their expensive cars, expensive clothes, expensive homes, creepy “I want to fuck you” grins and even the “business” lunch. Nothing worked and after a while Drexel started to threaten to release the orgy tapes. He could have a buyer ready to distribute in seconds.
Drexel, angered by the lack of results, pushed the politicians to get more aggressive and get things happening. And the politicians reluctantly obeyed, becoming more and more obvious in their approaches without getting anywhere.
Drexel still believed the plan would work. It was his plan, and he was always right. Except that one time. That time was a failure. But this one would probably work.
Many months after orgy season had ended, Drexel awoke ready to get the politicians to hurry up and meet his goals. He went down stairs and sat down to read the newspaper, just in case a bill had been passed while he was asleep. You never know. On the front page he saw a big picture of some of the politicians under revolution control. Drexel began to get excited. And then he read the headline: “Sexual Harassment Scandal.” Drexel was horrified but went on to read the article. Maybe the picture was not related to the headline. They do that sometimes, right?
Drexel read on:
In what some state officials have referred to as 'pretty fucking disgusting,' a rather large proportion of male planetary legislators are being charged with sexual harassment against their female colleagues. Due to the large scale of the allegations, the court is taking this matter very seriously. When asked about the case, one of the attorneys for the defendants stated that their defense would be 'largely based on a platform of bitches complaining.' This defense will be difficult to overcome for the prosecution as it was supported in the landmark case of Roe v. Ferguson where it was ruled that Roe was 'just having her period.' It is as yet not completely clear whether or not their will be an out of court settlement.
Drexel put down the paper. He put his hands on his face. This is what he said. “Ah, fuck me.” He repeated the last two words about seven times before deciding to go back to bed.